Right now it's evening, and it's quiet here in the upstairs room I spend most of my time in. The sun is going down and all I can hear is the occasional dog barking or loud engine over on the street in the near distance.

Sometimes it's hard to believe I'm back here, even though I've been back a little over three weeks now. My old life died a slow, miserable death over the summer, then a month ago, most of what I knew was destroyed. I almost...

Well, nevermind that. Another story for another time.

The happiest day of that horrible week was when I'd packed my bunny and most of my belongings and I was on the long trip south. The trip home. The weight of all I'd suffered was finally behind me. Chillicothe's siren lullaby of mediocrity called to me...told me to rest....told me I was tired from all the anguish, all the pain. I shook it off and realized that much was left to be done. I couldn't stop for an instant.

I'd left a four year relationship dead just behind me. I'd left a job. I'd left a social life.

In these three weeks since I left and drove into the sunset, I've fallen for someone, had my heart broken , and built an entirely new social life from old friends and pretty new girls. I've meditated my way into a higher level of consciousness, shook off the chains of attachment, and gained a since of confidence in the universe I don't ever remember having before.

It may be quiet up here in this room as evening's shadows lengthen, but inside...away from laptops and Enya and the sound of engines in the distance, wheels are turning. I hear - I *feel* - my life moving. I don't know what will happen except the manifestation of my intentions. I don't know how it will happen, but the difference between me now and me three weeks ago is that now I'm certain of their fulfillment. I'm starting to really enjoy meditation again, and I know that for me that only happens when I can savor the fulfillment of my desires through the ether. It tastes so good.

I'm happy, right now in this moment. I think that being able to say that, to feel that, takes a level of awareness I didn't always have in the past. I'm thankful for most of the hurt that's happened to me in the last few weeks, and I'm sure I'll be thankful for the rest of it when I see the beautiful things coming my way because of them. I'm so psyched for what's happening.

I'm happy. (: